


What's in the name

by fierysuzaku



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Fluff, Gen, M/M, end game jaith/jeith for this au, parents are plot devices, platonic jaith/jeith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16394018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fierysuzaku/pseuds/fierysuzaku
Summary: Before James Griffin and Keith the Black Paladin, there were two boys called Jamie and Kitten. This is part of their story.





	1. Jamie and Kitty

**Author's Note:**

> this is supposed to be for fluff week but this thing turned into something else entirely. this is inspired by katsronaut's smol keith and james doodles in tumblr. this person is also responsible for the amount of childhood jaith/jeith material you find here so i hope you like it ^_^

“Don't run off too far, Jamie!” his mom calls out as he dashes through the playground, giggling as his tiny legs carries him across the green patch of earth. It's summer and they just moved into town so everything just seems so new.

_It’s like an adventure!_

“Yes, mama!” he shouts, turning back to give her a big acknowledging wave which she returns albeit not as enthused.

“Just be careful, sweetie. Don't want to get a boo-boo do you?” she warns, reminding James of the time he fell off the merry-go-round since his hands were too small to hold the bars properly. The memory makes James pouts in reply.

“No... I don' wanna boo-boo,” he agrees, slowing his run, his energy turning down a notch before going up again when he sees a set of slides and seesaws.

“Mama! Can I Pway there!! Can I? Pwease!!!” he exclaims, jumping excitedly as he points towards the direction of the play set as he waits for his mom to catch up to him.

“Of course, we can,” she smiles, as she lets him take her hand while he skips across the playground, talking animatedly about how he’ll play and meet new friends. It doesn’t take long before he spots an intended target.

A boy, just around his age wearing a purple hoodie. Unlike the other children who seem to be more concerned in playing together on the merry-go-round, this one is alone. His hair is longer than most children James ever met, _like Aladdin!!!_

Without much prompting, he lets go of his mom’s hand and rushes towards the boy.

“Hi, I’m Jamie!” he greets him grinning.

* * *

 

His eyes widen in surprise, not really expecting anyone to greet him. Let alone this strange kid that came out of nowhere.

“Keith,” he replies with visible hesitation, not really knowing what to say. He remembers being told by grown-ups to not to talk to strangers. But they also told him to make friends.

_Grown-ups are weird._

“Keeth-en,” this _Jamie_ repeats his name, or at least tries to since it vaguely sounded more like ‘kitten’ than Keith.

“No… Keeeeeth,” he shakes his head and corrects him.

“Keeeeth-en,” Jamie repeats, failing once more, as if picking up that Keith is unhappy with him, he asks, “can I call you Keethy instead? My name is James but they call me Jamie, can I do that?”

“But I’m _not_ a kitty. My name is Keith,” Keith says a bit confused, why does he have to change his name. Why does _anyone_ want to change their name?

_It doesn’t make sense._

Besides, he _likes_ Keith.

“Okay. Kitten, then,” he nods, a determined look in his eyes as if it was the most important detail in the world, at this point Keith just lets it pass. That is until Jamie then moved to grab Keith’s hand as he leads him towards the seesaw, “Pway with me.”

He then proceeds to talk about how he isn’t allowed to play on the merry-go-round till he gets a little bigger since he falls off whenever it spins too fast. Keith doesn’t understand why, he can play on it just fine. Besides, he wanted to play on the slide.

“Why?” he asks about to protest when Jamie interrupts him with a barrage of words that was too fast for him to understand fully.

“An’ evewyone pways on there and mama says not to since I almost got a boo-boo but I wanna pway outside so we gonna pway on the seesaw instead!” he chippers on making Keith wonder if he had too much for snacks or something.

He recalls that grown-ups call it a sugar rush. He remembers having one when he had extra two scoops of strawberry ice cream, he felt really sleepy after.

“But I wanna play on the slide,” he says, finally getting a word in. This stops Jamie, as if suddenly realizing that Keith wants to play something else, he lets go of his hand.

“Oh,” he looks shy suddenly before regaining some of the happy energy from earlier, “we can pway on the slide, I like them too!”

Keith rolls his eyes, they were already near the seesaws and the slides were kinda far, so it was pretty pointless to go there _now_.

_I can play on them later. We’re here anyways._

He sighs shaking his head, he doesn’t usually play on the seesaws since kids say he plays too rough for some reason. But if this Jamie wants to play with him… _I guess a few minutes won’t be so bad._

“Let’s play on the seesaw,” he says just as Jamie was about to walk towards the slides, he stops to turn at Keith, his big purple eyes shining as if Keith just gave him like the best gift ever.

“Really?! Yay!!!” his smile is even brighter now and Keith nods in response, and as if to make his point across, he takes Jamie by the arm and lead their way towards the seesaw.

***-*-*-*-*-**

Jamie was having so much fun. Keith was really nice in playing with him on the seesaw. He especially likes it when he goes up extra fast.

 _Like a spaceship!_ He giggles as Keith sends him up again.

“Weeeeeee!” he exclaims he lands down, equally as fast.

After playing on the seesaw, Keith eventually moves towards the slides, he wanted to play more but follows him still. It was only fair after all, Keith played with him on the seesaw, he should join him on the slides.

He saw Keith pick a particularly very high slide and that made him hesitate, he was never on a slide that high before.

 _Keith can do it. So can you._ He takes on a determined look as he follows Keith up the slide. He sees Keith turn back to him, as if not really expecting him to be there. Well, that can’t be right. It’s no fun playing alone. And what kind of friend will he be if he lets Keith play alone.

Keith shrugs and goes down the slide, laughing as he reaches the bottom leaving him at the top. Alone. Suddenly, being up there made him feel scared. He gulps as he looks down, his knees starts shaking as his eyes begins to water.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asks, his face scrunching up like he was upset. He doesn’t like Keith upset, that would make him a bad friend.

“I… I…” his breathing hitches and speeds up.

“Are you scared?” Keith asks and James’ lips thin as if in confirmation, he should get down, let Keith play. Keith is brave and strong and he’ll only ruin Keith’s fun. He moves to give way for Keith when Keith calls out to him.

“That’s okay you know. I was scared too at first but Dad helped me,” he explains, making James pause.

“What did he do?” he asks, suddenly curious, fear momentarily forgotten.

“He went down with me,” he explains, James’ brows furrowing in confusion since surely Keith’s dad isn’t _that_ small.

“The slide was a lot bigger and taller than this one so he could fit,” he adds, obviously catching his confusion.

“Do you want to come down with me?” he asks, surprising James of the offer. No one ever did something like this for him before and he really does want to play with Keith.

“Okay,” he nods as he sits down at the edge while Keith settles behind him.

“On three, okay?” Keith says as he takes a hold of the edges while James braces himself for the drop.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!” Keith lets go and they go down the slide. James gasps at how fast they were going and starts laughing as they reach the bottom.

“See? Not that bad, right?” Keith says making James grin in agreement.

“Yeah, that was fun!” he says, turning to Keith with a bright smile he was about to ask when he hears his mom call his name.

“Jamie! It’s time to go home, baby!”

“Okay, mama!” he calls out turning to Keith and gives him a big hug, “I had fun today! See you tomorrow, Kitten!” he says as he runs back towards his mom. He vaguely heard Keith call out something but he wasn’t able to quite hear it, so he just gives him a wave goodbye.

“Made a new friend?” his mom asks as she takes a hold of his hand.

“Uhuh, his name is _Kitten_ . I asked if I could call him _Kitty_ , you know… like Jamie, but he says he prefers _Kitten_ ,” he explains as begins narrating his day.

“You mean, _Keith_?” his mom clarifies, obviously managing to catch Keith’s words about his name.

“Yeah, Kitten.”  

* * *

 

He didn’t see it coming. One moment, they were going down the slide the next, he’s getting _hugged_! He stiffens as Jamie basically tackles him, if he weren’t so small, Keith would have fallen over. So he stays there, arms stiff and confused.

_Why is he hugging me?!!_

He was about to tell Jamie that only parents do stuff like hugging when he bolts off for his mom.

“See you tomorrow, Kitten!”

“It’s Keith! KEEEEETH!!!” he calls out but it seems Jamie was too far to hear him properly because all he got was the image of Jamie’s big grin while he waves goodbye at him.

He huffs, _why can’t he just say Keith._

“Hey! Made a new friend?” he turns to see his Dad smiling at him.

 _Friend?_ Keith is even more confused. Jamie is my friend?

As if sensing his son’s inner confusion, he adds a few more details in, “that kid you were playing with. I’m assuming you made friends with him after that hug.”

“Friends, hug?” Keith asks, big eyes looking up to his dad who laughs at him fondly.

“Of course, friends hug,” he assures, “Why? You don’t like it?” he asks, knowing Keith can be a bit withdrawn at times.

“No… it’s just weird I guess. Didn’t know friends can hug…” he trails off, as if lost in thought, suddenly remembering something else to tell him.

“Hey, Dad? Why do people change their names?” he asks explaining how he remembers Jamie saying his real name was James but people call him Jamie instead.

“It’s easier sometimes… sometimes it’s because a certain thing reminds them about that person,” he explains, wondering where this line of questioning is going this time.

Keith frowns at that.

“But Keith isn’t that hard to say!” he chimes in, “I don’t look like a cat either so why does he call me Kitten?” he adds in making his Dad laugh.

“That’s probably because he’s still learning to say certain letters properly. He’ll get it right eventually,” he assures, the pout Keith is wearing not letting up one bit.

“Does that mean I should just let him call me Kitten?” he asks, obviously not satisfied with the explanation.

“Well… maybe you can help him along. Just be patient, okay? Everyone learns these stuff differently,” he says, hoping to pacify Keith but at the same time making sure he doesn’t push the new kid too harshly with the name thing.

“Okay,” he relents as he they make their way home.

* * *

 

The second time they meet, Jamie rushes in to hug him once more. Keith hesitates, but returns the hug, although he does it a lot more loosely compared to Jamie’s tight embrace.

“Kitten!” Jamie greets him with a wide smile.

“It’s Keith,” he corrects, maybe he’ll get it right this time.

He doesn’t.

Keith spots a cat sunbathing on the grass and points, “No, that’s a kitten! My name is Keeeth,” he points back to himself.

“Keeth-” Keith holds his breath.

“-en.” and lets it go heavily in defeat.

He spots his dad giving him a look, reminding him not to be too hard on Jamie with the name thing.

 _Fine._ He sighs, he’s starting to see that Jamie just needs to learn how to say his name in his own pace.

Besides, his dad says that Jamie will learn _eventually_. He just needs to be patient.

“What do you wanna pway today?” Jamie asks, big purple eyes stare at him expectantly.

“Uh…” Keith turns back to the slides, but he wasn’t really in the mood for it so he points towards the tire swings, just at the edge of playground.

“Okay! Let’s do that!” Jamie smiles, taking his hand as he basically runs towards the swings. The rest of his days were spent with Jamie practically glued to his side, chattering away about random stuff like the new story he heard, or the new show he’d seen. Jamie loves to talk and for some reason he thinks Keith is the best person to listen to them.

Eventually, this becomes a routine. Whenever Keith gets to the playground, Jamie tackles him with a big hug. Jamie lets him choose what to play and the rest of their day goes on from there.

He decided to play on the slides today and Jamie no longer seems that scared with the tall ones anyways. He was kinda surprised to he come face to face with a bunny when he reached the bottom though.

_What the -_

“Kitten! Look!” he looks to see Jamie holding a fluffy bunny with brown patches in his arms. The kitten thing has gone on long enough that Keith doesn’t even bother anymore, and he does notice Jamie getting better at speaking stuff so maybe he’ll get his name right eventually.

“Where did you get that?” he asks, watching as Jamie holds on to the animal, which is surprisingly calm for something that was just picked off from whatever business it was doing.

“Found him,” he answers, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Are you sure he doesn’t belong to someone?” he asks, they don’t have bunnies around here. If Keith thinks about it, this is the first time he’s got to be this close to a bunny. He reaches out and gives it a tentative pat.

_Soft._

“I didn’t see anyone looking for it,” Jamie frowns, hugging the bunny tighter, obviously intending to keep the thing.

“You sure your mom would let you though?” he asks, watching Jamie’s shoulder’s deflate in sadness. Big eyes turning all watery as his lips purses into a pout, Keith doesn’t like it.

“Maybe if we ask her together…” he suggests, earning another bright smile from him.

It obviously didn’t work. Jamie’s mom is nice but she doesn’t think Jamie’s old enough for a pet just yet. This makes Jamie upset, which also makes Keith upset as well.

Both their eyes start to water when Keith’s dad comes in and interrupts them with a frazzled looking guy in tow.

“Well, looks like we’ve found your rabbit, Karl,” his dad says as the two boys stare at them.

“Oh thank goodness! I don’t what I would do if I lost Sir Fluffyton,” he sighs in relief, suddenly remembering to introduce himself. Turns out, he was planning on giving the bunny to his daughter for her birthday. He just was getting some air in the park when the rabbit hopped out of the box and ran off. Keith’s dad was nice enough to help him find it.

“Oh, hello. My name is Karl, I see you boys found my rabbit,” Karl gives them a reassuring smile. Jamie, usually the first one to introduce himself is unusually quiet.

“Jamie, come on baby. Give the nice man his bunny,” he hears Jamie’s mom trying to console Jamie.

“B-But, mama,” he protests, only to get a stern look from her.

“Jamie. I know you want a pet. And maybe when you’re older we can get you one, but baby, Sir Fluffyton belongs to someone. Do you really want to take his bunny away?” she pacifies, wiping some of the tears away before Jamie eventually approaches the man and gives him the bunny back.

“You take care of him, okay. He’s a good bunny,” Jamie says, his voice strangely scolding as Karl sheepishly agrees and apologizes for the trouble.

Jamie was quiet for the rest of the day. Keith suddenly thinks he doesn’t really like Karl that much.

* * *

 

After the bunny incident, Jamie got quiet for a while. Keith, too used to his chatter, finds that it bothers him now.

“It’s just a bunny, you know. Your mom would probably get you one when you’re older,” he says out of the blue while they play on the seesaw.

“But I wanted _that_ one,” he pouts and Keith sighs as he gives Jamie a jolt upwards.

“Why pick a bunny anyways? Puppies are better… actually _hippos_ are a lot cooler but dad said they belong in the wild and shouldn’t be made pets. Unless you’re a zoo, then _maybe_ , you can,” he voices out and Jamie shrugs in response, not really having a good reason why he wants a bunny in the first place.

“Puppies are nice too,” Jamie agrees instead and goes quiet again making Keith huff in frustration. He was _sure_ Jamie was going to disagree and start talking about how cute bunnies are, or how soft and cuddly they are.  Suddenly, Keith doesn’t like how this conversation is going at all, nor did he like how the rest of the day went on just like that.

At the end of the day, after Jamie’s goodbye hug, he couldn’t resist asking his dad about Jamie’s strange behavior.

“Are bunnies really that cool?” he asks, earning an amused smile from his Dad.

“I’m sure they’re cool in their own way. Why, Jamie finally convinced you that bunnies are better?” he teases, making Keith frown in clear disagreement.

“Hippos are better. You sure they’re happier in the wild? I promise to take care of it,” he replies, blue violet eyes suddenly round and inquiring. His dad laughs, reaching down to affectionately ruffle his hair.

“Keith, even if we can, I don’t think the hippo would be very happy in the desert, they love water remember,” he gently explains, making Keith pout in disappointment. He _really_ wanted a hippo.

“Jamie is still sad Karl took the bunny away,” Keith replies instead, he doesn’t need to talk about it more because there’s a look in his dad’s eyes that told him he already knows what he’s talking about.

His dad is cool like that.

“I see… I’m sure Jamie will be back to his usual self. He just needs a bit of time that’s all,” he assures, but something in Keith just doesn’t sit right.

“I don’t like it. He’s too quiet,” he says, making his dad chuckle.

“I thought he talks _too_ much,” he reminds and Keith recalls the time he said that. It was true, Jamie likes to talk.

A lot.

“It’s weird,” he explains, expecting this to be a more than reasonable answer for his dad, he jumps right back into the previous topic.

“I just don’t get it. Why does Jamie love bunnies so much? All they do is hop around and eat grass,” he elaborates as his father starts buckling him in his seat.

“Keith, not all people like the same things. You like hippos, Jamie likes bunnies. I like dogs. Does it bother you that I don’t like hippos as much as you do?” he asks, meeting Keith’s curious gaze.

“No…” he admits with a bit of reluctance, “people can like different stuff and still get along, like me and you,” he said, repeating his dad’s words whenever he gets this way.

“That’s right. Now, we’re going into the city for a bit to pick up a few supplies, and maybe, if you behave and not wander off, we could get some of that strawberry milk you like so much,” he informs, making Keith forget about bunnies and hippos.

***-*-*-*-***

He remembers the time when Keith almost gave him a heart attack when he wandered off to look at some toys in a nearby toy shop while he haggled for some spare parts.

**_“Dad, hug… too tight…”_ **

**_“Keith, don’t you ever wander off like that! Promise me.”_ **

**_“Promise. I’m sorry, dad.”_ **

**_“It’s okay, just tell me if you want to go somewhere next time.”_ **

“Dad, can we go to the toy store?” Keith asks tugging on his sleeve.

“Saw something you like?” he asks, earning a strangely shy shrug from him. Keith is rarely shy with him, he can be a bit quiet but that doesn’t stop him from asking questions or voicing his thoughts.

_Unless._

“Saw something, _Jamie_ would like?” he asks further, earning a bashful blush from the boy who gives him a tiny nod of affirmation.

***-*-*-*-***

James really wanted that bunny. He caught it fair and square, why should he give it back to Karl who lost him in the first place.

**_“Now, Jamie. If you lost something really important, would you want this person to keep it for himself?”_ **

**_“But, mama!”_ **

**_“Jamie…”_ **

**_“No. I would want it back…”_ **

His mom made it very clear to him that he couldn’t get a bunny until she was sure he could take care of it properly. He had seen other kids, smaller than him have pets, why can’t _he_ have one.

“No fair,” he pouts as he makes his way towards the usual spot they where they meet up. He spies Keith talking to his dad, he was about to give him a surprise hug when Keith unexpectedly turns and stops him with something pressed on his chest.

“Here,” Keith says holding out what looks like a small plushie. A _bunny_ plushie.

James didn’t know what to say.

“I know your mom doesn’t want you to have a real one yet but maybe this would do for a while,” he explains before turning to his mom and asks, “this is okay, right?”

He turns towards his mom, who was giving Keith a really soft smile.

“Of course,” she replies as he gathers the plushie in his arms. It was soft, softer than Karl’s bunny even, it has purple fur making it look extra special.

“His name is _Yorak_. Dad said it’s a really special name so you better take care of him okay,” Keith says, looking a bit to the side, not really meeting his gaze.

He eventually couldn’t stop himself anymore, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he happily repeats as he captures Keith in an extra tight hug.

“I love him! I promise to keep him safe!” he declares, not wanting to let Keith go just yet.

They didn’t really play much that day since he didn’t want to let go of Yorak. A promise is a promise after all. And it didn’t feel right to leave him with his mom.

_He’d get lonely._

So they just spent most of the day in the sandbox with him chattering away like he always did.

“You sure, it’s okay here? We can go to the slides, Yorak and I can watch.”

“Nah… so you were talking about this new story your mom read to you…”

“Oh yeah! It’s called _The Lion King_. Have you heard about it?”

“No, can you tell me about?”

“Sure!”

* * *

 

Eventually they all settled into their play dates. Every afternoon, when the sun isn't too hot anymore, they meet at the playground, Jamie tackles him with a hug, he chooses where they play, and Jamie proceeds to chatter and talk about whatever he wants.

Keith decides that he likes it. He gets to play. Jamie gets to talk. And he gets to know stuff about places like Atlantis, and how Mulan saved China. He especially liked those stories.

But then, one day, Jamie didn’t show up. Keith thought he was just late or something until his dad told him Jamie wouldn’t be able to come and play for a while.

“Why?” he asks, Jamie _always_ comes.

“He’s sick, Keith. So needs a bit of time to get better,” he explains, making Keith frown clearly not liking the news.

“Maybe you can play with the other kids,” he suggests only for Keith’s frown to deepen as he shakes his head in obvious reluctance.

“They’re no fun,” he says, recalling the many times his dad tried to make him play with others and failed.

**_“He’s too rough!”_ **

That’s what they said whenever he accidentally trips or pushes someone because he was too strong. He doesn’t understand, it’s not like he does it on purpose. It’s not _his_ fault the others couldn’t keep up with him in tag. Or that they don’t like it when he pushes the swings too high or turns the merry-go-round too fast.

_Jamie doesn’t mind._

His eyes brightens, at a thought, “can’t we go visit him instead?” he asks as his dad gives him an apologetic look, ruffling this hair.

“Sorry, Keith. He’s pretty sick and his parents don’t want him getting others sick too.”

“Not me, I don’t get sick!” he pipes in, it’s true, he barely gets sick. A few sniffles when it’s cold. Maybe a cough or fever every now and then, but never to the point that he had to stay in bed for more than a day.

He catches a strange look in his dad’s eyes, he gets that sometimes, this weird shine as if he knows something but doesn’t want Keith to know. He tired asking whenever his dad looked like that but then his dad turns all quiet and sad.

**_“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”_ **

He decided not to press. He doesn’t want his dad looking sad.

“Sorry, Keith. Even if you don’t get sick, I don’t want to take a chance either,” he says, a soft look in his eyes as he crouches down to meet Keith’s gaze.

“He’ll be better in no time. And when he does, you two can play all you want,” he assures. Keith eventually relents knowing he couldn’t really do anything about it.

_Maybe he’ll be fine tomorrow._

But Jamie didn’t show the next day either, or the day after that. It baffles him, _what’s taking him so long._ The absence leaves him restless, like it isn’t fair for him to be outside when Jamie is all cooped up in his house sick.

_Doesn’t he get bored?_

“Jamie still sick?” he asks his dad one day after spending the majority of day in the sandbox drawing random shapes on the sand. He tried playing on the slide, and on the swing but they were just no fun that day. In fact, a lot of things don’t seem as fun as they used to be.

His dad sighs, gently combing his large hand through Keith’s hair. It always makes him feel better after a particularly bad day.

“You miss him, huh,” he says, earning a shrug from Keith. Keith doesn’t know if that’s the right word but he doesn’t like playing alone anymore and with Jamie gone, the days just seem longer for some reason.

“Is he really gonna be okay? He’s been sick for a long time,” he asks instead, it’s been a week and he doesn’t understand what’s taking him so long to get better.

 _What if he doesn’t get better?_ He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that at all.

His dad reaches down, cupping his cheek as if to wipe something off. The world looks blurry and his dad’s hand is wet.

“Come on, maybe they’ll let us see him,” he scoops him up in a hug as Keith buries his face on his neck.

“He’s gonna be fine, Keith,” his dad assures him, rubbing small circles on his back. He sniffs, rubs his nose as he holds onto his dad’s shirt. They eventually reach Jamie’s house, it was a pretty house, big with a nice garden full of pretty flowers. His dad rings the doorbell and they wait.

“Do you want to go down?” his dad asks, he doesn’t really like people seeing him being carried but for some reason his fingers tighten even more at the thought.

It turns out that Jamie was really sick and needed extra time to be better. His mom said that he’s gonna be fine but they just need to keep him under observation since his fevers tend to spike up and he gets dizzy too easily so he can’t really have visitors.

“Can I see him?” he asks making Jamie’s mom pause, obviously hesitant making Keith upset once more.

She smiles, apologetic and soft. She gestures for them to follow her at the back. There, she shows them a window, Keith peeks through the glass and finds Jamie buddle up in blankets, clutching Yorak tightly in his arms as he sleeps.

“The doctor said to avoid visitors since his immunity is pretty low right now and I don’t want you to get sick either so this is the best I could do,” she explains, “but, I’ll be sure to tell him you stopped by. It’ll make him very happy.”  

“It will?”he asks, making the mom chuckle a bit.

“Of course, it will. He adores you Keith. I’m sure he misses you, being away from you for so long,” she answers, giving him a kind smile. Jamie smiles like that, warm and pretty.

“I miss him too,” he admits, feeling a bit of bashfulness sink in, urging him to bury his face into his dad’s chest. The gesture makes the two grown-ups laugh.

“I’ll be sure to relay the message,” she assures, “now, I believe it’s a bit late and you two have a long way to go.”

It’s his dad’s turn to look bashful now. Jamie’s mom suddenly gets a look, similar to how Jamie looks when he has an idea. She leads them back towards the front and just when they were about to say goodbye she told them to wait a bit as she goes into the house.

“I always cook too much anyways,” she says as she gives him a container full of food. His dad refuses but she gives him a look that makes him take the container with a nervous chuckle.

Keith wonders if Jamie knows how to do that too.

The next time he sees Jamie, it was two days after their visit, he wastes no time giving him a hug.

“Kitten?” his purple eyes wide and questioning as Keith hugs him tighter.

“You were really sick,” he says as Jamie returns the hug.

“But I’m better now! So you don’t be sad anymore okay!” he smiles bright as ever making Keith blush.

“Was just worried…” he mutters, letting go of the hug while Jamie gives him a different, softer smile.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Keith looks up, meeting his gaze.

“For visiting. And mom said you missed me too so I thought to give you this,” he says before running off towards his mom and returning with a 'strawberry’ hippo plushie in his arms.

“Yorak was a big help. I still missed you but he helped keep me company,” he explains as he places the hippo in Keith’s arms, “His name is Jeff. I know it’s not as special as Yorak but I hope he helps you whenever you’re feeling lonely too,” he adds grinning, while Keith just looks at him, not really expecting the gift.

“Take care of him, okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

 

The first day of school has always been daunting for any child, for Keith, he’s trying to understand why he needs to spend these extra long hours inside learning stuff he could learn at home.

“Can’t _you_ teach me?” he asks, as they walk towards the school entrance. They could technically just park right at the front but he wanted have a bit of a talk with the kid before classes start.

“No, Keith. School is different. There’s some things I can’t really teach,” he replies, a bit of weariness in his tone since this is not the first time Keith proposed this idea.

“Like what?”

“You’ll see. Besides, don’t you want to go with Jamie? I hear he’s starting this year too. Kid so small I forgot you’re only a few months apart,” he deviates, hoping that would be enough to convince Keith that school is definitely worth the try.

He smiles when Keith actually stops to consider it. Little Jamie has been a good influence to Keith. Over the years, the two became almost inseparable and he could not help but recall how the rambunctious little ball of energy managed to drag Keith into actually playing with other children sometimes.

**_“It’s not that bad, I guess.”_ **

Keith isn’t the most vocal about it but it’s clear by his actions that he likes Jamie’s company.

_Now, I just have to convince him that maybe school won’t be so bad if Jamie is there._

“Jamie is coming to school too?”

“Yup, I’m surprised he didn’t chatter your ear off about it,” he remarks, Keith’s and Jamie’s conversations has always been mostly one-sided with Jamie being his talkative self, but over the years, he has managed to make Keith open up to him more.

An admirable feat if that’s anything to go by.

“Hm… he’s not going to a different school, is he?” he asks, his brows furrowing a bit since he doesn’t really see a reason why Jamie would keep it from him.

“I don’t think so… maybe he wanted to surprise you, you know how he is sometimes,” he assures, recalling the conversation he had with the boy’s mother.

She’s a gentle lady, that one. Wearing all the softness of grace but carrying a strong iron will underneath if she cared to show it in the firmness of her voice or the sharpness in her gaze.

“Yeah... he’d do that,” Keith agrees, a soft smile lacing his face before it slips into begrudging fondness, “I’m kinda surprised it lasted this long since he usually spills the beans before I _could_ be surprised.”

He laughs, clearly familiar with several failed attempts to surprise Keith.

“Well, tell him I’m sorry for ruining the surprise,” he says earning a scoff from the boy.

“It’s Jamie, dad. He’ll get over it.”

“Keith.” It’s a reprimanding tone, one he often uses when Keith gets a bit too harsh or mischievous. In this case, it’s more of a mix of several things that needs to be addressed.

“ _What?!_ ”

“That’s not nice. Just because Jamie is the type to let things go easily, doesn’t mean his feelings weren’t hurt,” he explains, it’s not that Keith is the type to take advantage of anyone like that but it’s better to give him a more concrete talk about it considering how much stuff Jamie lets Keith get away with at times.

 _These two will be trouble. I can see it._ He remarks, seeing the boys as teens, hormone driven and wild. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready for it.

“It’s not a big deal… it’s like the time I ate his cider doughnut,” Keith replies and sometimes he wishes all things in life were that simple.

“Uhuh, and how did that one go?” he asks, hoping that Keith would remember the lesson on not taking other people’s share unless they actually offered.

**_“Hey, that’s mine!”_ **

**_“I was hungry and you weren’t even eating it.”_ **

The way Jamie bristled was almost endearing and it sort of reminded him of an angry kitten when he remembers the tiny glare and pout that accompanied the reaction.

“He stopped talking to me until I said sorry and gave him another doughnut,” he answers, guilty and full chagrin knowing how a silent Jamie is never a good sign.  

“How ‘bout the time you told him people would crawl out of the TV and trap him there, and he believed you. He was pretty mad at that one,” he couldn’t help but remember since Keith rarely decides to show this side of himself.

It was a nice prank, harmless if you think about it. But Jamie was so sacred that he started avoiding screens like they were the plague. Eventually, his mom noticed and assured him that no, the TV people aren’t going to take him away.

**_“You lied to me!”_ **

**_“It was just a joke!”_ **

**_“Don’t you ever do that again!”_ **

It wasn’t like it was the first prank Keith pulled on him. Keith was just so used to him taking everything in stride that he was totally unprepared for the backlash that followed. In fact, even he was surprised with how long the kid held on.

_The boy can keep a grudge._

“Yeah… Jamie doesn’t like pranks.” His eyes downcast and upset, the memory of an angry friend is never pretty. It doesn’t help when said friend rarely gets angry in the first place. He has an itching feeling that there’s a story behind there but doesn’t know how to breach it with Jamie’s mom.

“More like, he doesn’t like liars,” he clarifies, reminding Keith that Jamie is okay with certain pranks but just not the ones that involves lying to his face no matter how ridiculous it is.

They’re nearing the school when he stops to take Keith’s hand, a silent gesture of assurance as he speaks, “Listen, Jamie looks up to you. And I’m pretty sure, he cares for you enough to let you get away with murder,” he jokes before continuing with his lesson, “but you shouldn’t take that for granted, okay?”

“I don’t.” Keith protests with such heat it leaves him speechless for a moment, “he’s my friend,” he declares with such clear certainty that it assures him that whatever road bumps these two will have, they’ll work it out.

“That he is,” he agrees, “Now, no need to get all huffed up, just a bit of reminder, you two are nice boys and great friends from what I’m seein’,” he adds, hoping to lighten Keith’s mood as they cross the school gate, they were just halfway down the path when Keith speaks.

“But I’m not… nice.”

He freezes, eyes narrowing as he crouches down to meet Keith at eye level.

“Now, where did you hear that?” he asks even if he already knows the answer. This is an old fashioned town with a lot of old-fashioned views. And for all the innovations of technology, people never really change when it comes to the image of a silent boy that doesn’t really get along well with others.

“Around…” Keith refuses to meet his gaze, looking off in the distance with a soft vulnerable look on his tiny face. It breaks his heart to his boy like this.

“Keith, listen to me,” he says, gently taking his chin and turns it towards him so their eyes could meet. Soft bluish purple, he notes the brightness of tears, threatening to spill, showing that despite his silence, Keith is very much affected by the words he’s been hearing about him.

The thought makes his blood boil on how stupid and cruel people can be on someone, a child at that, just because they don’t fit in with the rest.

“You’re a good kid. You’re a smart boy with a kind heart. They don’t know what they’re talking about,” he assures, but the look Keith is giving him tells that it’s not having the desired effect.

“But you’re my dad. You’re _supposed_ to say those things.” His voice low, the tiny frown and the furrow between his brows not lightening up one bit.

“That don’t mean they ain’t true. Jamie seems to think so,” he points out, the heat in his words adding more weight as he finally sees a bit of light in Keith’s expression as the child scoffs.

“Jamie doesn’t count. Jamie is nice. _Too_ nice,” he stresses, dark thoughts held at bay for a moment at the very least.

“I think you should have more trust in Jamie. I mean, out of every other kid out there, he stuck to you like glue,” he counters, finally earning a fond smile from the boy.

“He’s weird like that.”

“But _good_ weird right?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, tightening his hold on his hand as they enter the school building.

***-*-*-*-***

“Kitty! Kitty! You’re here!”

He braces himself as Jamie basically throws himself on him, capturing him in a tight hug. Just like his constant mispronunciation of Keith’s name, this is one of habits Jamie never really grew out of.

Not that Keith minds. He’s used to Jamie’s hugs now.

“Well, we are going to school here together right?” he says earning a pout from the boy.

“Who told you?”

“Dad says he’s sorry,” he echoes as Jamie rolls his eyes, quite miffed that he wasn’t able to surprise Keith again this time.

“Fiiinnneee… but that’s only because he’s ultra cool and nice,” he relents as he lets go of the hug.

“Of course he’s cool. He’s my dad!” Keith responds proudly.

“Well, my dad is cool too. Sort of. He’s not as big as yours but he can carry me on his shoulders and everything,” Jamie chimes in, giving Keith the image of Mr. Griffin, all gruff looking and strict, showing that Jamie takes more on his mom in terms of looks.

However, despite his rather intimidating looks, he’s nice enough to take them both for ice cream when Jamie’s mom was too sick one day so maybe he isn’t that bad.

**_“He’s away a lot. But mom says it’s better than us moving from place to place. Not that I mind, new places are fun!”_ **

The thought of Jamie moving away doesn’t sit well with him, but from the looks of things, his mom has no intention of moving away so he pushes that concern away.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, we’re gonna be late,” he says, tugging on Jamie’s sleeve before making his way towards their classroom.

“Hey, wait up!”

* * *

 

It takes a while for Keith to get used to the school in general. Teachers had to explain why he can't color on certain times or go outside on certain times.

Or why he can't seat with Jamie in class which he until now doesn't understand.

He remembers the first day he came back from school, his dad waiting by his truck asked him how it went.

**_“Jamie was quiet. So I told the teacher he was sick.”_ **

**_“Oh, is he okay?”_ **

**_“Yeah, he’s just really well-behaved. It’s weird. He didn’t shout, run or anything during the whole time.”_ **

**_“I’m pretty sure that’s how you’re supposed to act in school, Keith.”_ **

**_“Still!!!”_ **

He eventually got used to it. Jamie being quiet. It helps that when the recess bell starts ringing, he goes back to his loud happy self.

“Hey, isn’t your name Keith?”

He’s distracted from his memories as he turns to this kid. He doesn’t really know him, in fact, he can’t really seem to recall if he even met the kid before this moment.

“Yeah?”

“Then why does Jamie call you Kitty?” he asks making Keith frown. He doesn’t like how this kid is calling Jamie, _Jamie_. His eyes narrow, trying to figure out where this line question is going.

“He doesn’t know how to say Keith properly,” he replies, a cautious tone lacing his voice as his watches the kid look at him as if he’s trying to solve a very hard puzzle.

“So you let him call you Kitty instead?”

He shrugs, he got used to it. Over the years, he stopped trying to fix Jamie’s habit of calling him Kitten. In fact, he resigned himself to the nickname of Kitty because Jamie kept on slipping on using it.

**_“It’s fine. You can call me Kitty.”_ **

**_“Really, Kitten? You won’t be mad?”_ **

**_“I’m sure. Now, come on. Dad’s waiting, you wanna have that Harry Potter marathon or what?”_ **

“So it’s okay to call you Kitty then?”

“No.” The reply comes so fast, Keith barely registered how the hopeful look on the kid’s face crumbles in disappointment.

“Why? You let Jamie call you Kitty,” he asks, obviously not satisfied with Keith’s refusal on the name thing.  

“You can say Keith just fine,” he points it out, the familiar feeling of annoyance creeping in when he hears the kid use Jamie.

“So if Jamie can say your name just fine…”

“Listen,” Keith cuts him off sharply, eyes already flashing in anger as he continues, “ I don’t even _like_ being called Kitten. If I had a choice, I’d want Jamie to learn and say my name properly already cuz who likes being called Kitty anyways!”

“Oh.”

He turns to see Jamie standing just a few feet, his arms were filled with coloring paper and crayons, obviously planning on asking him to join him. Keith feels something heavy settle in his chest when Jamie’s face falls into a expression Keith can’t quite place.

It looks wrong. Guilt claws at him. An apology just at the edge of his lips.

“Jamie… Lemme explain…”

“Keith.”

For a moment, the world stops. The kid beside him already forgotten because all he can see is Jamie and the sound of his name repeating in his head. His chest suddenly hurts when Jamie gives him a small smile, “It’s okay, Keith. I understand. I really should say your name properly, huh.”

Keith wants to say something but he feels his throat clogging up. So he nods instead because that’s what he wanted right? He’s been trying to make Jamie say his name properly for so long... he should be glad.

He never heard Jamie call him Kitten or Kitty for the rest of the day and Keith never felt so terrible in his life.

***-*-*-*-***

“You okay?” He looks up from his meal, seeing his dad’s worried expression.

“Jamie called me Keith today,” he informs, his still feels the sting in his chest from earlier.

“What’s the matter? I thought you wanted Jamie to call you Keith,” he asks as he takes a seat in front of him. It was a small table to he can see his dad’s expression change from worried to confused.

He takes a breath, his throat dry as he tries to explain the feeling in his chest. How he knows he should be happy because Jamie’s finally saying his name correctly but isn’t. How he feels terrible like he said something wrong but didn’t. At least, he thinks he didn’t. At that moment, it just seemed like the right thing to say. It didn’t feel like a lie. But it didn’t feel like the complete truth either.

All the while, his dad keeps quiet. Letting him pause, try to figure out what he really means. Overall, he sums it up with him not liking how Jamie calls him Keith.

“It just doesn’t feel right, dad.”

“Then, why don’t you tell him how you feel about this,” he suggests, making Keith jump in protest.

“But I just told everyone that I don’t like being called Kitten or Kitty,” he says, he can’t go back on his word. That’s bad. You have to stick to your words. Be honest. Jamie hates liars.

“Well, Jamie ain’t just anyone is he,” his dad replies, making him pause. That’s right. Only Jamie can call him that.

“No, he’s my friend,” he echoes and it really shouldn’t matter if Jamie calls him Kitty because he’s different from all the other kids.

_Jamie is special._

Some of the pieces are finally clicking into place as he feels his chest lighten at the thought. His dad smiles as if reading his thoughts.

“That he is.”

***-*-*-*-***

“Jamie?” For the first time since he can remember, he feels hesitant in approaching him. Which is ridiculous, this is Jamie and the last thing he is, _is_ unapproachable.

“Yeah, Keith?” he turns, just as he is about to take his seat. Keith feels something in him lurk as his heart hammers against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, suddenly feeling silly as he bites his bottom lip.

“For what?” Jamie asks, looking all confused as if Keith didn’t do anything wrong.

“I’m sorry I told everyone about the Kitty thing,” he elaborates, not really meeting Jamie’s unusually silent gaze.

He shrugs, expression closing off a bit making Keith panic as he says, “It’s true. I should call you by your name.”

“I don’t mind!” he says, more volume than intended, making some curious heads turn.

“What?”

“I don’t mind you callin’ me Kitty,” he says as he feels his cheeks heat.

“But I thought -”

“I don’t like anyone callin’ me Kitty,” he tries to explain, rushing a bit when he sees Jamie’s frown, “But you’re not _just_ anybody, you’re my friend and you’re the only one allowed to call me that, okay!” he declares, eyes shining in determined fire as he meets Jamie’s surprised gaze head on.

What he didn’t expect was the hug. Jamie stopped hugging him whenever they’re at school since the a teacher told him it is not polite to hug people in school.

**_“But what about outside school?”_ **

**_“You can hug Keith anytime you like outside of it.”_ **

“You’re my friend too, Kit,” he murmurs, giving the hug an extra squeeze.

“Kit?” _This is new._

Now, it’s Jamie’s turn to blush, “Well, I heard some kids making fun of you… so I thought… Kit would be better.”

That makes him frown. _Those kids should learn how to mind their own business._

“I don’t care about -”

“But I do,” he cuts Keith off with unexpected heat, “I don’t like them making fun of you because of me.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s _not_ .” he presses, eyes shining with a determined glint that tells Keith to let him have this one because if people thought _Keith_ was stubborn, they obviously never met Jamie when he’s feeling particularly willful.

“Okay, Kit is fine too,” he relents earning a wide grin from his friend.

“Good.”

Keith smiles back, laughing as Jamie starts off with one his stories. His dad’s right, Jamie isn't just anyone and Keith will make sure to remember it, always.


	2. James and Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> years later on the back of a space whale, Keith remembers a kid named Jamie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit angsty.

**_years later..._ **

It’s quiet, as most nights are on this strange space whale like creature are. Their time spent scavenging for food and firewood are almost routinary as the days bleed into weeks.

Scavage. Hunt. Train. Sleep.

He has grown used to it. They’re never the most talkative pair either so save for the occasional stray conversation about his dad or life on earth, not much has been discussed.

Except the mission. Always the mission.

Because despite their priorities and underlying reasons, both know what needs to be done.

He has questions. She answers them. The best that she could without him shutting down and trying not focus on the silent scream of, _not enough_.

 _They_ weren't enough.

He understands, yes. But understanding is so different from feeling. And right now, despite it all. Despite the clarity and answers, a part of him is screaming, _not enough._

She left. She's gone. Never been there for him or his dad. He understands, but he hates the fact she still left them. _Him_.

_She's here now._

It's a balm. Soothing the emptiness left from abandonment. If circumstances were different she would have stayed, he tells himself all the while ignoring the part of his mind telling him that she could have stayed still.

Despite the galra. Despite the looming threat over their heads. Despite it all, there must have been a way where she could have just fucking stayed.

He chooses to silence those thoughts. He has no room for bitterness right now. No matter how justified he cannot let his heart weigh heavier than it already is.

And he is so so tired. With everything going on, he feels like best way for him is just to let her in.

Let her ease the burden. Let her in so she can fill the hole she left in his life. It won't be the same. She didn't raise him. She is only his mom on a biological level,  but if he lets her _be_ his mom, even if it's late, even if the boy longing for her had long grown up, then maybe things will get easier for him to bear.

Maybe, he'll finally learn to forgive her.

And it does. Bit by bit, pieces of him heal, jagged edges smoothed by kind words and gentle tones.

Then again, the yellow flashes showing them the varied slideshows of their past helped in keeping things in perspective.

No one is perfect. They all make mistakes. They all have regrets.

Over the course of time, the yellow light envelopes them, obscuring the definitions of past, present, and future. He lets the memories flow and ebb, fill them with answers long sought and forgotten.

This is one of in many nights where the flashes happen more frequently than usual.

Lost faded memories turning fresh and painful. Happy ones getting recolored, like splashes of paint spilling over the gray surface of forgetfulness.

He hasn't thought of Jamie in a very long time.

 _He's James now._ He reminds himself, the old sting is back but it pales in comparison to the frayed exhaustion and pain he had to deal with over the recent years.

“That child…”

Their gazes meet across the fire. He forgets sometimes that this is a two way street, no matter how many times it occurs.

“An old friend… not anymore,” he adds, feeling his heart clench.

“What happened?” she asks, it's natural of course, she just saw some of the more happier moments of his childhood. Before the fire. Before the stupid little fight that ruined years worth of friendship.

“Kids fight. It happens,” he answers, clipped and stiff. Memories of tears and apologies carried by yellow flashes makes every muscle in his body tighten.

**_“Ki- Keith, please.”  Big round eyes, full of tears, the late afternoon sun painting the world in yellow and orange light before he snarls and bristles._ **

**_“Go away! Leave me alone! I said I don't want to talk to you!”_ **

**_“You know what, fine! I-I don' wanna be your friend anymore either!”_ **

**_Jamie runs off, not seeing the tears falling down from his own cheeks._ **

“He was dear to you,” she states, he wants to deny it. Jamie was a chapter from a life he barely allows himself to reminisce. Too painful. Too harsh. Memories so happy they scratch against the jagged scars of his heart, tearing them to bleed open once more.

“ _Was_ , mom. He… We’re different people now. I grew up and so did he. We’re not friends anymore.” It's getting easier to call her that now, he notices as she lips give a tiny lift and the edges of gaze soften just so.

He shifts in his seat, eyes no longer meeting as he recalls their more recent encounters making him note how the years can truly change a person, for how does someone so soft and warm turn so callous and sharp.

**_“Oh? It is that what mommy and daddy said before-”_ **

**_He sees red and before he knew it a punch was thrown, landing square against James’ jaw._ **

“You're enemies,” she concludes, the hard look is back. It’s a harsh assessment, making him wonder if that's how the galra sees things.

Friend or foe.

Black or white.

As he looks back at how he acted back then… it wasn't a pretty picture either.

“Hardly. James… just doesn't like me.”

 _Not anymore._ He shuts the memories off, willing himself forget the image a smiling child following him around like a lost duckling. But it seems the universe has other plans as another memory floods them.

**_“We’re gonna be friends forever right, Kitty?” Eyes bright, stars reflecting against grey violet eyes as they turn to meet his gaze under the shelter of blankets and pillows._ **

**_“Yeah,” he smiles, huddling closer grinning as the meteor shower starts raining down the desert sky._ **

“We, Galra, bond deeply. A promise made under the rain of stars is not to be taken lightly,” she informs making him scoff.

It was a childish promise. Easily made and broken. No amount of falling stars is gonna fix something that’s been gone for years.

 _And whose fault is that._ The thought lies bitter in his heart. Another yellow light and he is once again forced to relive it.

**_“Kit.”_ **

**_“Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that.”_ **

**_“Keith, I said I’m sorry.” His voice cracks, fragile and soft, it ignites his temper all the more._ **

**_“You called the teacher on me!”_ **

**_“You were fighting!”_ **

**_“So instead of helping me, like a REAL friend, you decided to sell me out like a coward!”_ **

**_“You had a KNIFE!”_ **

**_“You got my dad in trouble! I don't want a friend like you. I hate you. Go away!”_ **

**_The heat leaves him breathless. The way Jamie gasps as if struck, it makes him want to take it back. But the anger comes back, burying everything under its fire._ **

_That was a lie. I don't hate you._

“You were hurt that he didn't defend you. Fight for you, like any comrade should.” She's trying to comfort him. He appreciates it. He truly does.

“Can I blame him though? I mean… what would a kid do if his friend suddenly draws out a knife,” he tries to remember the argument, how it escalated into a fight and made Jamie run for help.

 _I can't remember._ He frowns as he tries to recall, surely he should remember it. He should remember the reason why he fought to the point of drawing a knife but for the life of him, he cannot.

“You were defending yourself.”

“I was a kid and I… I scared him.” There, he said it. Finally admits the itching thought at the back of his head. Jamie wasn't scared of the bullies that day, but of him. And that hurt him more than it should have.

“Keith…” She reaches out, crossing the distance and cupping his cheek.

Her hand feels rough against his skin but the warmth radiating and seeping into his weary cold bones is a welcome.

He takes a breath, let the warmth sink and burrow in his chest perhaps it could lessen the dull sting in his chest.

“No, he was just doing the right thing. Shouldn't even have to apologise for it.” But he did. Repeatedly. Unceasingly. Until the final day where he just stopped because Keith was too stubborn to forgive. Too stubborn to acknowledge that he was in the wrong. Too stubborn to fucking listen.

Another flash. Another memory. Images of an old classroom and accusing stares.

**_“It's your fault you know.”_ **

**_“What is it this time?” He turns, annoyance clear in is tone as he glares at the classmate._ **

**_“It's your fault Jamie's gone.”_ **

**_“What?”_ **

**_He feels the world crumbling. Because that was lie, surely he wouldn't just leave. He wouldn't! Then he remembers that one afternoon. Angry. Hurt. He realizes, that was the last time he saw Jamie since then._**

“I didn't even notice... He was moving. That was what he trying to tell me. Probably tried to leave something to keep in touch.”

“You were still hurt.”

“Doesn't change the fact that I lost my only friend that day,” he whispers under his breath as another light comes.

A child running towards his father's arms as the world around him drowns in tears.

**_“Daddy, he’s gone. Jamie's gone and it's my fault.”_ **

**_“Hey, hey. Slow down. What do you mean he's gone?”_ **

**_“He moved away because I'm a bad friend that told him awful stuff. He hates me, dad. He hates me.”_ **

**_“Jamie doesn't hate you. Didn't you tell me he’s too nice? I'm sure he has a good reason for moving.”_ **

**_“He… He tried to tell me but I didn't listen. I told him to go away and now he's never coming back.”_ **

“I kept thinking maybe if I listened to dad and let things go, we could have stayed friends. It happened so fast… one moment he was there, always. And then, gone,” he says as lets her embrace him, let her presence fill the aching void of regret and loneliness.

“Dad tried looking. Asked around. Turns out, personal information and all that stuff, especially of a military family is kinda guarded. Dad tried, but he couldn't get a lead on them. Didn't help that everything started going downhill…”

“Hush, that's enough,” she cuts him off, rubbing circles on his back, she says nothing of the damn patch staining her left shoulder. “You… you should rest. It's been a long night.”

He nods as she moves him to lie on her lap.

“Nothing in this world is set, or too late. Perhaps, when this is over, you can try being friends once more,” she murmurs as she cards her fingers through his hair, soothing the troubled thoughts away even if it's just for a night.

For a moment, he believes it.

_It's never too late._

He eventually drifts off, lets himself dream. Dreams of a different reality, where he was softer, more forgiving, a world where he could have kept him.

Have that warm happy boy ready to hold his hand and hug him. Comfort him when he needed him.

_I want to be friends again._

It should be so easy, yet he recalls the bitterness of grey purple eyes looking over him like he was a stranger when James moved back into town.

_You lost your chance._

His consciousness fades before a yellow flash envelopes them once more.

_“Jamie… stay…”_

_He looks older here. Taller. His heart skips a few beats when grey violet eyes soften with warmth. Sharpness melting away as he speaks, “Of course, Kit. Always.”_

Maybe. Just maybe. There is still hope for them yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are lovely and feed my writing soul. Please, feed it.


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